Happy

So recently a young lady I know asked a question... a question that I have pondered for hours!

She wanted to do something and she has not been allowed. Eventually she asked the question "Why can't you just let me be happy?"

That caused me to ask myself if it is a parents responsibility to make your child happy. 

As a parent, I have many responsibilities but the one I take the most serious is based on Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it".  The NLT translations states "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it."

I have a huge responsibility to raise my children.  As I approach parenting, I try to look towards the goal of "when they are older".  You see, I don't want to parent just for today! If that were the case then I would probably do what ever it took to make my kids Happy!  Instead I want them to learn how to be responsible for their actions, words and thoughts.  I want them to learn that there are consequences for each and every choice they make, whether good or bad.  I want to train them to be respectful to those around them.  I want them to take pride in the work they do. I want them to be obedient to the authority placed over them.

If I just parented for today, it might be easier.  Give the kid what they want, let them do what they want and they are happy... for today!!  I suspect that if a child has been made "happy" all her childhood, he will be in for a huge shocker when he becomes an adult.  A child who has been given everything that makes him happy, will expect the same as an adult! Their expectations will not be met and they will become angry and bitter.

I recently read that this generation of children are the most "entitled" yet! They want, they expect, they get! And if they don't get, then they hate the world. If they are told "No", they challenge the authority and demand a different response.  This produces a spirit of selfishness and self-centeredness not to mention a complete lack of respect for others.
   
The Bible has a lot to say about discipline.
 
Hebrews 12:11 "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."   I imagine not many of us like being discipline as it hurts, it is uncomfortable. (The same is true for the one who gives out the disciple, it is hurts, it is uncomfortable)  God promises that discipline brings about righteousness and peace, so it must be worth it!

Proverbs 19:18 states "Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives."  Ouch!!  If we allow this entitled generation to continue on the path they are taking, then we are also a willing participant in their own ruin! I don't know a single Mother who wants to see ruin come to their child, but I know some who are blindly leading their children down that path. 

I love how the NLT translation gets straight to the point with Proverbs 23:13 "Don't fail to discipline your children. They won't die if you spank them."   I think sometimes a Mom feels such great guilt over disciplining their children! But this verse is a reminder that they won't die if we discipline! They may be mad and act as though they are dying.  Now, I am not condoning beating a child but I see nothing wrong with a spanking when needed! Remember that they are many forms of discipline that can be administered as well!

Sure, it might make my life easier if I chose to parent for today.  I would make my children happy, or they would THINK they are happy!  But I would miss out on the joy of watching my children grow into strong healthy adults.