20 Years Sounded like forever!!

18 years ago when Brian and I married we decided that Brian would remain in the Air Force for at least 20 years! That seemed like an eternity away! Well, those 18 years have literally flown by and last month Brian celebrated 20 years!

This has brought a mix of emotions for both of us! For me, it has been a reminder of how quickly each passes and that I need to cherish each one of those days! 18 years ago our family was just the two of us! Now we have three precious boys who are in their teens and tweens. I also admit that I like the stability the Air Force has provided our family especially in this economic crisis! I have heard too many horror stories from those who have retired or sepperated from the AF. At the same time I hear stories of people who say they wish they would have sepperated long before they did.

For Brian, this anniversary has caused Brian to ask the question, "what now"? Does he retire now? We have no job lined up and well, our growing boys need to eat! Does he stay in? If so, for how long? At this rank he can stay in 4 more years. He tests for the next rank in December but if he gets promoted that means a 2 year commitment to the Air Force. Do we stay? or do we move on? We are asking the Lord for guidance as our desire is to be in His will!

Combat Training part 2

Here are the rest of the photos.
Blogger has been really fickle lately and it wouldn't let me add any more pictures!
Enjoy!

Combat Training

After being stuck inside for a few days because of rain, the kids decided to play despite the wet ground!
The first time I checked on them, they were climbing and playing on the burn pile. I knew they were going to get wet since everything was still wet but I decided to let them play anyway.

Half an hour later I went to check on them again and this is what I saw! They were having a BLAST so I let them play!

Everyone stripped naked in the garage and went to shower. All three got sent back for a second shower so they could get clean!
Oh how I love my boys!

I Shall NEVER Forget!!

As we all know, today marks the 10th anniversary of a devastating attack on our nation!

I am sure everyone remember exactly where they were and what they were doing! On that day I had to explain to my beautiful innocent 3 year old that there is evil in this world!

We had just arrived to England, that the land that we would call home for the next 7 years. In fact we were still in Temporary housing off base. I was nursing our baby, while our 1 year old and 3 year old boys were playing with their toys!

Brian called and informed me that an airplane had crashed into the a building in NY and I should turn on the TV. In disbelief, I turned the TV on so I could see for myself. Within a minute I watched live as the second plane hit! I just sat there an bawled forgetting about my sweet babies in the room. Hayden walked up to me and asked me why I was crying! On that day, September 11, 2001, I had to explain to him that there were bad people in this world who wanted to hurt others. Content with that answer he went back to playing and I went back to the TV where I stayed glued for hours! I knew I should get up and do something to take my mind off this dreaded situation but my legs wouldn't move! I just sat there!

I wasn't sure if I was happy or scared to be living outside of the United States! When Brian came home from work that day he informed me that the base stores where closing and that he was off of work for a while. When he finally returned to work, he would have to go in civilian clothing! We talked about keeping ourselves safe and not drawing attention to ourselves.

I felt so alone, so scared, so worried about what was going to happen to us! "Don't draw attention to yourself". Ya, OK, I had three kids under the age of 3 and I couldn't even begin to fake an English accent if I wanted to!

We were all ready living simply as we only had a dorm sized fridge. We were making stops at the commissary every few days to get groceries... but now that commissary would be closed indefinitely.

I knew fall was coming and we had been living out of suitcases for a couple months so I only had summer clothes for the boys. I kicked myself for not getting warmer clothes for the boys while the BX was open! Thankfully Brian asked around and we heard of a store in Cambridge called H&M. We went and I bought each of the boys a couple pairs of jeans and a couple long sleeved shirts that they could wear under their summer T-shirts! (To this day, they still just through on a long sleeve shirt before putting on their T-shirts in the winter.) By the way, H&M remained my favorite Britsh store to shop in!

We adjusted and we survived that days following September 11th!

In the aftermath, our nation was informed that just under 4,000 people lost their lives on 4 different crashes! I was relieved as on the day of the attacks it was announced that 50,000 people worked in the twin towers alone so the devastation could have been much worse! Now, I realize that there were still 4,000 heartbroken mother's who cried endlessly for their children! I know there were still 4,000 families who were destroyed that day! But I am so thankfully that it wasn't 50,000 families!

Yesterday as I watched a slide show in our Memorial at Church I was so saddened by the pictures of that day. The heartbreak and terror in the eyes of those we survived the attack. My heart physically ached! Then in an instant I became angry and thought horrible wicked thoughts over the men who planned this attack! Apparently I am not filled as much love and grace as I thought! I am still angry that a group of people planned this attack with full intent to cause even more damage then what happened that day!

Over the last 10 years I have clung to 2 Corinthians 7:14 "If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray, and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and I will forgive their sin and I will heal their land". This verse has been a lifeline for me! I pray for our nation! I pray that God will protect us from ever experiencing another attack like this! I pray that God will protect us from another attack! I pray that God will comfort those who lost so much! I pray that our nation will turn from our wicked ways and return to the God fearing nation we were founded as! I pray that any future attacks will be thwarted! I pray that God will reveal himself to those who hate Him and he will change their hearts!!

No, I shall NEVER forget!!

A Teaching Moment

I have been asking the Lord to give me Teaching Moments with my children. I don't mean those hours we spend at the school table learning math, science and English. But I am referring to the moments in Life where God can teach us a lesson. I too often miss those opportunities.

last week the Lord gave me a great moment with Hayden.

Hayden has really stepped up over the last 7 weeks. He has done so much for our family and I am so proud of him. He never asks for anything in return.

As we were watching TV the other night, there was a preview for Captain America and Hayden said "Momma, I sure would like to go see that with you". I was so moved by it! We don't generally go to the Theater so I knew I had to pull this treat off!

I asked friends of ours to watch Gage and Levi so I could take Hayden. We showed up at their house and I said Good Bye to all the kids! Hayden is my very overprotective child and immediately demanding knowing where I was going. When I refused to tell him he said "If you don't tell me, then I am getting in the car with you!" I walked out the door and of course he followed. He hopped in the car and I started to drive away. A few seconds later he started to panic and begged me to tell him where I was going. I simple asked him if he wanted me to take him back. He said NO. I kept driving.

Hayden begged me to tell him again and told me that he would be fine if he just knew where we were going! I prayed and asked the Lord to help me use this moment as a time of teaching.

Me "Hayden do you know exactly what your life is going to be like?"
H "yes"
Me "do you know what you are going to be when you grow up?"
H "yes"
Me "do you know who you are going to marry?
H (hesitantly) "maybe"
Me "do you know how many children you are going to have?"
H "no"
Me "Do you know where you are going to live?"
H "no"
Me "Hayden you don't know what your life is gonna look like and where God is going to take you. You are faced with a choice... you can either trust the Lord with your life or you can freak out over you life but we both know life is easier when we trust the Lord"
H "Right"
Me "Hayden, you have to live your life fully trusting the Lord to take care of you because He loves you. The Lord has also entrusted me to be your mother and at this moment you need to trust me, knowing that I love you and only want what is best for you!"
Hayden smiled and pondered my words for a while and then said "I just wish I knew where we were going".
Me "yes Hayden we all wish we knew where we were going in life! If you stress over it, you are going to miss the opportunity to enjoy life! And in this moment you are missing the opportunity for sweet fellowship, just the two of us!"

After a few moments of silence we arrived at the Theater and Hayden finally realized where we were going and he was relieved that he choice to trust me and my by trusting me, he was truly trusting the Lord".

We ended up seeing Transformers instead, but it was still a sweet afternoon between mother and son!

I am so thankful for teaching moments!

A Simple Compliment...

Or was it??
This week I did my first drop off at a consignment store. I had a truck load of stuff so 2 of the boys stayed home and one went with me. As soon as we pulled into the drop off zone, my kiddo jumped out of the car and immediately started unloading. The lady stood in shock as my boy unloaded all kinds of things. The lady said "My my my, I NEVER see children helping! This one even looks like he WANTS to help!" I didn't think much of it because my boys do always want to help!
As we pulled into the second unloading zone, she made another comment about him helping! She asked if she could hire him to work for her! Of course, he blushed and then giggled! After we were done unloading, she said one more time that she was so impressed with him! I smiled, thanked her and drove away!
Later that evening God reminded me of these compliments so I pondered them for a while! I DO expect my kids to help out, alot! Because I expect it from them, I don't really think much about it! God reminded me that I do expect them to help but the boys give me so much more in the servants attitude! They don't have to help with a smile on their face, but they do! They don't have to go above and beyond my expectations, but they do! They don't have to like helping me, but they do! And for those things, I am SO very thankful!
God has given each of our boys the same servants heart that their Daddy possesses! I pray that they will always want to serve others!
A simple compliment?? No, rather a gentle reminder of how wonderfully made my boys are!

We jumped...

and it certainly didn't end like I thought it would! I was SO sure of God's leading! SO SO sure!

Shortly after finding out that things were not going to turn out as they seemed, a friend started a chat on Facebook! I have known her since my kids were we little ones and she is an amazing woman of God! Even though we don't talk very often she always starts our conversations with "What is God teaching you?". In the midst of my pain I knew God was telling me to trust Him! That was the simple answer, I am always supposed to trust in Him!

But over the last 24 hours as I have begged God for understanding, He has reminded me that "Even if He doesn't, that doesn't mean He Can't!! So, Miss H that is what the Lord is teaching me!! Thank you Miss H for being my friend and allowing God to use you!

The Big Jump

My last blog entry was about Levi's Big Jump off the dock and the diving board! SO proud of that guy!

Well, in the week since Levi's Big Jump, the Lord has brought our family into the MOST UNIQUE situation I have ever heard of! I truly stand in awe of HIM!!

Brian and I are SO full of questions and we have very few answers! Brian asked me if I was willing to jump in feet first on faith alone! I told him, yes as faith is the only thing I have! 36 hours later Brian told me that he was willing to jump in feet first too.

So now our Family is taking a BIG JUMP into the most exciting adventure of our lives!!

Freedom on the 4th

Levi has struggled with fear all his life!
Since moving to NC three years ago, Levi has been scared to death of Thunderstorms and we get some absolutely amazing thunderstorms. Growing up in England, Levi had never experienced a thunderstorm. When the weather is gloomy, Levi used to check the weather forecast hourly! When a storm rolled in, Levi would get his PJ's on, jump in my lap, plug his ears and go to sleep no matter what time of the day it was!
Levi has always been deathly afraid of dogs! He says "I am phobic of dogs which means I have an irrational fear of them". We talk about how it is irrational and yet he is still scared.
On New Years Day we started praying that this would be the year that the Lord would give Levi freedom from his fears. In the last 6 months Levi has grown by leaps and bounds and is doing so much better with dogs and he does amazing during thunderstorms. He still sits REALLY close to me but I am OK with that!
Well, over 4th of July weekend Levi tackled more of his fears! Our friends live on a pond and for 2 summers now, Levi has watched his brothers jump in the pond but he was too afraid to even climb down the ladder to get in the pond. On Sunday Levi woke up and said "I AM jumping off the dock and into the pond today!!" I encouraged him to do it but I didn't think he would. He asked me to pray that God would give him freedom from his fears so that is what we did. And within minutes Levi was JUMPING in the pond!! I SO wish I could have seen his facial expression!! He jumped and jumped and jumped the rest of the day!

The Jump

The JOY!!!

On Monday, the 4th, we went to the pool. All summer Levi has wanted to take the swim test so he could jump off the diving board. He practised and practised and I honestly didn't think he could pass the test. The lifeguard told him that she had been watching him and she was certain he was ready! That gave him the boost of confidence he needed. He swam across the pool and back and then had to tread water for 1 minute. The final part of the test was to jump off the diving board and swim to the ladder! Levi got right up on the diving board and didn't even hesitate to jump!! I was overwhelmed with joy for my littlest man!! Levi spent the rest of the day jumping off the board!
As I sat and watched him, I was telling the Lord that I am so in awe that he loves Levi so much that he is willing to give him Freedom on the 4th!! Freedom to Worship Him, freedom to live a life happy, freedom to pursue his desires and today the greatest gift was to have FREEDOM from his FEARS!! Levi feels like he can conquer the world now! Thank you Jesus!

The swim...

Treading water

Preparing to jump...

Letting loose!!

Dear Brian,

You have been created as one of a kind.

On the planet Earth, there has never been one like you... and there never will.

Your spirit, your thoughts, your feelings, your ability to reason and act all exist in no one else.

The rarities that make you special are no mere accident or quirk of fate.

You have been created in order to make a difference.

You have within you the power to change the world because you have Jesus in you.

The very beating of your heart has meaning and purpose.

Your actions have value far greater than silver or gold.

Your life and what you do with it today matters forever!!




We are so incredibly blessed to have you in our lives! We are better because of YOU!!


Happy Father's Day!!

A New Family Picture... FINALLY!!!

Our previous family picture has been up there for years and we were long overdue for family pictures!

When I met Sabrina a year ago, I knew right away I wanted her to take our family's picture! Of course, actually making the appointment was a entirely different story!

I asked her kind of last minute to take our family photos last week! Of course, being the amazing woman she is, she agreed! She prefers to take photos in the evening but Brian works nights so mornings were all we had!

She did an amazing job and I am SO pleased with them! I can't wait to plaster them through my house!!

If you are interested in the sneak peak, check them out here..
http://defininggracephoto.com/blog/?p=1000

POOL PARTY!!

It is certainly summer here in NC!! it has been in the 90's almost every day since Mid May!

We are soaking up the sun!

BROWN...

Brian and I budget our money and we thoroughly consider each purchase. We have some guidelines that we follow when making a purchase.

Today one of the boys was watching "Biz Kids" and a lady described the "BROWN" method to making purchases...

B... Budget (how do you know if you can afford something if you don't know what you have)
R... Research (make sure the purchase is worth what you are paying for it)
O... Own it (You are the one who will own it, so don't feel pressured by anyone to buy it)
W... Walk Away (if the price isn't right, be willing to walk away)
N... Negotiate (if the price is right, then negotiate to get the best deal)

That perfectly sums up our philosophy on spending!! I am totally going to teach my kids the "BROWN" method to shopping!

Zippin Through Life

You ever feel like you are just zippin through life?? This morning I woke up with the boys and was a bit shocked that it was Saturday again! Last Saturday we all snuggled on the couch and watched TV. It certainly doesn't seem possible that another week as litteraly zipped by! Just a reminder to cherish every moment of every day!

Speaking of Zippin... our precious friends have a Zip Line in their back yard and our boys LOVE it! Here are pictures of them on it last weekend!

Forgiven...

I am usually a totally calm person but every once in a while I let anger and frustration get the best of me!
Last night was one of those times. I was so frustrated with the boys that I got angry and yelled! The kids have chores to do and honestly it would only take them 20 minutes a day if they just did them. But they put them all day or putz around so it takes forever. Last night I told one of the boys to do 3 different things and when I came back into the room, he was gone and NONE of the things were done! Ya, Momma lost her mind! I yelled and told them how angry I was at them and that I HATE being ignored. Realizing what I was doing I put myself in timeout! I went outside to the patio and just cried out to God, telling him I was sorry! First, sorry for not being consistent with the boys and then second for allowing myself to get angry with them when I am the one not being consistent.
I wanted to apologize to each of them alone. When I told my first kiddo I was so sorry and asked him to forgive me he said "I all ready have". The second child wept in remorse for his own behavior then forgave me. The third child acted like nothing had ever happened and said "Momma, I will always forgive you".
I am in awe at how easily my boys forgave me when I was mean to them! It certainly was a reminder to me of God's forgiveness! Thank you God for using my kids to witness to me!

Humbled... Once Again

I am a Christian and I believe the Bible is true. The Bible says that God even knows the number of hairs on my head! If He cares that much about my hair, surely he cares for every aspect of my life! Yet, sometimes I forget.

Well, we have a sweet young couple in our small group that we would love to get to know more. They have young kids and my boys simply adore their children. Gage and Levi have asked repeatedly for us to get together with this family.

On Sunday night we were driving home from small group and the kids asked again when we could get together with the "H" family. I told them that it would be hard to do that because Daddy works nights again and the two nights a week he is off, we go to church and small group. That was the end of the conversation. I didn't see how it would ever work out!

Well, last night Mrs. H asked us if we were going to church Saturday night (they usually attend Sunday Mornings) and asked if we could go out for dinner at Chick Fil A. Now, you have to understand the craziness of this... we go to Chick Fil A every Saturday night after Church and she would have no way to have known that! I was totally excited to have a date planned with them!

This morning I woke up and was thinking about last night. I was humbled once again that God cares so much for me! He gave me the desires of my heart even though I didn't even bother to pray and ask him to make a way for us to spend time with this precious family.

Some may call it a coincidence, but I don't belive in coincidences!

Where Did That Come From?

This morning Brian and I were enjoying a quiet morning. Somehow we started talking about jewelry and I was reminded of how my grandmother was ALWAYS done up. I don't remember a day where Grandma D didn't have her hair done, her make up perfect, her nails polished and jewelry to match her outfit! Growing up I just thought she was crazy but as I have grown into a woman I have come to appreciate all the effort she put into her appearance! This is nothing new...

However this morning I caught myself saying "I am just sad that I don't have a..." I stopped myself before I could finish but Brian was not going to let the conversation end there! As tears started streaming down my face, he asked me to finish. I sat and thought for a few minutes trying to figure out what just happened and wondering wher that came from. I then realized that my heart is aching and I didn't even realize it!

I told Brian that I truly am thankful for my three young men and consider it a privilege and blessing to be raising these young men! I am so thankful that our family name is going to carry on through them! Blessed is exactly how I feel to have them in my life! And I wouldn't change a single day with them!

But as I sat there I searched my heart and discovered things I didn't know I was harboring. I am sad that I don't have a little girl to watch grow up and to teach her to be a good Mommy and a good wife! Sad that I don't have a little girl to teach how to cook and how to match up her jewelry. Sad that I don't have a little girl to take out for manicures and tea! And honestly, I am feeling duped! I am not discontent... just feeling like I am missing something.

I always wanted a little girl and I thought that is was because I wanted to dress her in all pink and put adorable pink bows in her hair. But I guess my desire is for so much more.

For at least the last 8 years I have had a desire to adopt a little girl from China. When I shared my desire with Brian he told me that he was not interested. He shared that sometimes feels like he doesn't get enough time with our boys as it is right now, so he didn't feel it was fair to bring another child into our house. I completely understood but as a married and united couple I couldn't understand how we could have such opposite desires. I think I would have a house full of kids if I could!!

About 4 years ago I prayed that the Lord would unite us. I begged God to either give Brian the same passion or take my desire away. I have not even seen a spark in Brian so I have resolved to the idea that this adoption will not happen. I thought I had accepted this fact! I thought I was OK with it! I thought I would be OK raising my boys and vowing to be a loving and accepting mother-in-law. I thought that I could just wait until my precious sons give me some grandgirlies! I thought I was OK.... I really did! Until this morning when I was flooded with all kinds of emotions that I honestly didn't know I had.

My precious husband just stared at me with his jaw open! There sat his wife, a blubbering mess rambling on and on. I don't think he knew what to say or do to comfort me so he just smiled at me and that gave me the assurance that I WILL be OK! And I WILL!! I am content with my family! I LOVE them dearly! I cherish every moment with them!!

So, I now know where that came from!

Happy Birthday Gorgeous Gage

This morning you crawled in bed with me! I got to share with you the story of your birth! I love to see how your face light up every time I share it with you! I can't believe it has been 11 years all ready!

You are such an amazing young man and I am so blessed to be your mom!




One of the most exciting things that happened this year is your Baptism in June! You sure made this Momma proud!



You had long hair for a while this year! You wanted to keep growing it, but once the NC summer hit, you quickly shaved your head!



One morning during school hours, I couldn't find you! I searched all the places I thought you would be! I imagined that you had stopped doing school and they you were hiding and playing somewhere. I was pleasantly pleased to have found you on my bedroom floor doing school.